We live in a world where saying, "I'm a Christian" comes with many consequences. Some of us are scrutinized for every choice we make, as if we're suddenly supposed to be without sin just because we define ourselves with these three words; while others around the world are beheaded for refusing to deny their faith in The Lord. So how in the world are we supposed to live unashamed by our faith, when the world is constantly throwing insults and forcing our hand into going along with things we simply don't believe in?
It'd be easy to simply run and hide; to worship in secret and in shame, to laugh or agree with immoral things despite having conflicted feelings in our hearts. I have struggled this with this all too well throughout the years. It started in my freshman year of high school. My mom, little brother and I all belonged to a great church and I decided to join the youth group. If you've ever seen any Hollywood flick based on a high school scenario, they more often than not include so called, "Jesus freaks". Out of fear of being cast into that role, I often hid or felt ashamed of the friends I made through church and I slowly but surely distanced myself from the youth group, until I was a part of it no more. Though my faith in God never wavered and I always believed in Him, I couldn't bring myself to stand up for what I believed in, in public so I put on a different persona to please others.
This carried on for several years and filtered into the early stages of my adult life. At the ages of 18through 20, I went through a very difficult time. After 26 years of marriage, my parents had divorced and in one year's time, they both had remarried. Both of my stepparents are wonderful people and I love them both very much but at the time, it was a very difficult pill for me to swallow and accept. In the midst of it all, I had also broken up with my high school boyfriend, moved into my own apartment and lost my little dog (my only true companion during a time of such heartache). I was very much struggling to find out who I was, especially in my relationship with Christ, and I lashed out often in many ways. Though I knew who God was, I believed in Him wholeheartedly and I really loved Him, I still wasn't letting my life shine for Him, out of fear of being outcasted by my peers. I knew that my actions weren't exactly in line with what I believed in and that made me afraid of being judged if I were to admit my beliefs to others. I could already hear their scrutinizing questions, "If you're such a good Christian, why do you do this, this and this?" So I often downplayed my relationship with God, despite feeling guilty for denying Him.
After having gone through such a difficult turning point in just a few short years, I really began to lean on my relationship with God more than ever. So when I met my now husband at the age of 21, I decided that I was just going to be who I was, without fear of what he might think of me. In doing so, I began to unmask the shame of who I was in Christ.
When we got engaged a few years later, I was faced with deciding just how much my faith meant to me. In planning our wedding, I was put in a situation by voices outside of our relationship to essentially choose what mattered most to me- marrying the man of my dreams under circumstances that I wholeheartedly did not believe in or making the choice to stand up for what I believed in, and potentially sacrifice my chance at marriage. When it came down to it, I chose the latter, unafraid and unashamed. Of course I never wanted to hurt anyone or push an ultimatum on my fiancé, but I realized that I could no longer live a lie; that Christ had way more significance in my life than simply doing something out of fear of rejection from others. I realized that God's opinion of me mattered infinitely more than those around me.
From that point forward, I felt a renewed sense of dependence on God and of courage and confidence in who I am in Him. I also realized that being a Christian doesn't mean that I have to adhere to the world's stigma or judgment- that I am supposed to be without fault and sin and that I beat people over the head with a Bible every chance I get; that I have the right to suddenly judge others or that I'm somehow better than the nonbeliever sitting next to me. It doesn't mean that I live a boring and mundane life, that I can't go out with friends and have a few drinks or gamble in Vegas because I have to stay home and pray; or that I am without troubles.
Being a Christian does mean though that I don't have to be ashamed because He bore all shame, that I don't have to fear rejection because He was rejected; that I am made right in His sight. I can stand up for what I believe in, unashamed, because of who He is.
I am now unashamedly a Jesus freak.
"From now on, don't let anyone trouble me with these things. For I bear on my body the scars that show I belong to Jesus." Galatians 6:17
"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33
"Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Do not be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows if widowhood. For your Creator will be your husband; The Lord of Heaven's Armies is his name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth." Isaiah 54: 4-5
"If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved." Romans 10: 9-10
"So let's not get tied of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." Galatians 6:9
