If there's a will, there's a way. A phrase we're all too familiar with. I've experienced this saying many of times but never have I been hit as hard with it as I was recently. I'd like to say that in the past year, my husband and I have been through so many changes but that time frame would be an overstatement. Really, in the past five months, we've had a whirlwind of changes; changes that we didn't choose to make but rather, were made for us.
Beginning at the end of May, my husband lost his job. It was devastating, to say the least. Anyone who knows my husband, knows how passionate he was about his job, so we were both hit very hard with the reality that his dream of being in this one specific career was over. Because of the nature of my husband's career, every plan we ever made for our life together was based on whether or not it would work well within the realms of his job. We planned everything around it- when we would get married, our move to Houston, when we would attempt to buy a house, and most importantly when we would have children.
Prior to the loss of my husband's job, earlier in May I decided it was time for a change and I chose to change jobs. Since my husband's job at the time was so demanding, I made the change in part so that I would have the freedom to care for our family whenever the time came. Leaving my job was an extremely difficult decision to make, if not the hardest one. I loved my career but I did what I felt was necessary for us by taking a position at a friend's company in a field I had never worked in before. The craziest part of both of our careers ending was the timing of it all- my husband lost his job four days before my last day at mine. While I had the opportunity to stay, I had already committed to leaving and I really felt in my heart that it was the right thing to do for the time being, the real reason yet to be known to me.
Looking at this situation and the details of how our careers both ended, there was no other explanation than this being the kick off of, "if there's a will, there's a way."
Though we no longer had the constraints of planning out the details of our life around a specific schedule, we weren't necessarily in a position to have the freedom to do whatever we wanted. Being that our lives had done a 180, we realized that we had to trust God and whatever He was trying to accomplish with us. Not to mention, my husband still had to find a job so whatever plans we wanted to make had to take a back seat to that factor. Thankfully within a month or so, by the grace of God and with the help of our friends, he came to work for the same company that I was now with.
With the cloud of his needing to finding a full time job beginning to slowly lift, we decided to pursue our plan of homeownership. Though we were still really struggling to adjust to our new life and we still had many financial concerns (not having health insurance being the biggest concern of all), we decided to press on, believing that this would relieve the financial tension of paying sky high rent. Plus, our lease was up soon and one of our goals in buying a house was so that we could move on to having babies. With our dreams in mind, we, along with our awesome Realtor, poured our hearts into our search. (By the way, if you've never seriously house hunted, consider yourself lucky. It's probably one of the most stressful tasks EVER!)
In the midst of attempting to purchase a home, I felt a strange sense of desire to return to my previous job. Only a few months had passed, but I really felt that God was telling me that it was time for me to go back; that whatever He needed me out of there for was done and I could return to doing what I love. So I made the decision in early August that after we closed on a home at the end of September, I would return to my career in early October.
Also in early August, which you may remember from my last blog, we took a little time off from house hunting to take a vacation to Colorado. Our trip was amazing! Probably one of our most memorable ones yet, for this very next reason- the day after our awesome hiking trip in the Rocky Mountain National Park, I found out I was pregnant.
Amongst all the hardest changes these past few months, this news was most definitely the biggest and most shocking. As hard hitting as it was, I couldn't help but realize that it finally all made sense what God was trying to do. He was trying to get us where we needed us to be, so that this baby could be. Though having children was always part of our plan, with everything that passed, that plan was pushed further and further down the line to where it almost seemed as if it would never happen. There was always some reason why we couldn't have a baby yet. At first it was that we needed to own our own home; then it was, we both changed jobs, we don't have health insurance, and finally, we're simply not ready yet. The excuses were relentless, which made me sad. All I could do was pray about it and so I asked God a month or so before I found out that I was pregnant that, "if there's a will, let there be a way. When the timing is right Lord, bless us with a child." He answered a lot sooner than I had anticipated!
Needless to say, it was still stressful after finding out about my pregnancy but we both had to put our hope in God and believe that He clearly has plan for this baby. In doing so, God has allowed everything to fall into perfect place by opening the door for me to return to my old job sooner than I had planned and He has since provided us with a place to live. Though the dream of homeownership hasn't come true yet, our new place is perfect for our life right now. There's still so much for us to figure out but if there's a will, there's a way.
Of the greatest things I've learned through this, it's that God does not let your excuses stand in His way. No matter how hard you try to push back, you can't stop what God has already decided. We often don't know where He's taking us but His plans for us never fall through; and if we're willing to give our life up to Him and ask Him to lead the way on His time, He'll make your path clear.
"In my desperation I prayed and the Lord listened; He saved me from all my troubles" Psalms 34:6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, submit to Him and He will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:5-6
This morning, as I was thinking of what to write, this song inspired me to tell you my story-
Sidewalk Prophets- Help me Find it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsjZ94K7UQs
