Chainsaw

These past few weeks have been a real struggle for me in many ways. I was sick and unable to eat much of anything, nonetheless exercise, which flared up my body image issues and made me concerned for my overall well being . I've been surviving on $8 in my checking account for weeks because I've been selfish with my money and not focusing on self control. I've been struggling with feeling lonely and I even made the rash decision to completely change career fields and will be starting a new job at the beginning of June. Though I'm excited for what God has planned in my new job, letting God's plan take effect was not easy. It's been a stressful whirlwind on an emotional roller coaster to say the least. Through the struggles that I've been facing these past few weeks, though I ultimately have the peace of God within me and do have faith that better things are to come, I'd be lying if I said it isn't a struggle to remember this throughout this process and I haven't been hurting, worrying or feeling anxious on the inside. It truly has been a real battle within. 

It was only until yesterday evening after talking with a close friend about some struggles she was also facing and how she felt that God was really trying to rid her life of things he didn't see fit for his plan, that I was reminded of a sermon I heard years ago, which was that God is pruning the fruit and branches in our lives in order for us to become the people he wants us to be. The entire sermon was based off of John 15- Jesus, the True Vine. In part, Jesus says,

“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to the Father... You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name" John 15: 1-8 & 16. 

It dawned on me that through all of these trials that I've been facing, God is trying to work something out within me. He is trying to make me see the branches that aren't bearing any fruit within my life, the ones that are withering and steering me away from his plan and he's trying to nurture the ones that are. I have to stop the branches of insecurities from growing because I am wonderfully and beautifully made. I have to gain control of my finances by cutting myself off from making poor choices and purchases. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself and start being thankful that though I'm lonely at times, I have a wonderful God that is always by my side whenever I need him and a wonderful family that would do anything for me. I have to trust in God that though the decision to change careers was not easy to make, I know that through prayer, it was the right one and I'm excited to see the fruit it bears. 

Ultimately, I just have to listen, remain in him and allow God to take the chainsaw.

"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can go and do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10

Loving the World

Love. When I think of what it means to love something, I think of the stereotypical loving feelings that which are joyful, warm and positive. Rarely do I think of true love in a negative aspect. The Bible probably references love at least one million times. I don't know that for a fact since I haven't counted but I'm sure it's a close guess. In fact, I think it's safe to say that the majority of the Bible is all about love. In it we are taught many things such as the true definition of love, that God IS love, that we are to love one another and the list goes on and on to even including and warning us that we are to not love the things or customs of this world. For example, 1 John 2:15 warns us, "Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you".

I will admit that I often say that I love many things that are of this world- I love pizza, I love a new pair of wedges in the Spring, I love vodka sodas, I love feeling the sunshine on my face, I love baseball (just kidding, I don't love baseball), but you get it the point- love is a descriptive word that is thrown around loosely in my vocabulary when explaining my affinity for possessions or a certain lifestyle that makes me happy and improves my quality of life. I don't think that it's bad or sinful because I know in my heart that I don't love them unconditionally- never would I die for them, nor do I allow them to have control over my life or my thoughts (okay, maybe the shoes... just kidding!). Regardless, I believe that God wants us to enjoy our lives and experience love and joy for these things so long as we don't confirm to this world, allowing our love for our them to dominate our hearts, ultimately causing us to loose focus on our one true love, God.

While I will freely admit my love for things that paint a warm and happy picture, I'm not so keen on admitting that I have found myself being consumed by other matters of this world that aren't as happily depicted. Often times, we allow our thoughts and desires for things that the world says we need to have take control of our lives and dominate our hearts, consuming all of our love. For example, we allow ourselves to be in love with money, power, having a worldly beautiful body, expensive possessions and an overall perfect, quintessential life to the point that we will do anything to attain them. We stay up late at night anxiously worrying ourselves with fear of how our future is going to play out. We stay in overly stressful jobs that we don't necessarily like because we love the money it pays and the social status it provides. We starve and beat ourselves up because we obsess over having the perfect image. We do all of this because even though these thoughts and obsessions don't feel like the stereotypical heartfelt forms of being in love, we are essentially in love and are infatuated with possessions and lifestyles that are of this world and not of God. We have conformed.

I don't believe it's sinful to have goals for successful careers, financial stability, a clean bill of health and a truly wonderful, enjoyable life because God wants us to be successful in His plans for us. He wants us to experience joyfulness and happiness, while having His peace in our hearts. What He doesn't want is for us to loose sight of His plan and let our love and our anxious thoughts for ways to achieve worldly possessions or a wonderful, worldly life steal our love for Him. So when you feel yourself slipping and beginning to loose sight of what's important, remind yourself that you have the love of the Father in you. All else is secondary to that love. When we put God first in our hearts, He will transform the way we think and He will provide all of our hearts' desires.

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect". Romans 12:2

 

Take delight in The Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to The  Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you. Psalms 37:4-5

Stop Competing With Others, Start Competing With Yourself

A friend of mine recently decided to make some serious lifestyle changes by completely revamping her nutritional and exercise habits. During one of our many conversations about her journey thus far, she confided in me that though she's really enjoying these new found changes, she can't help but feel discouraged every time she walks into the gym and finds herself surrounded by a plethora of people who she feels are in better shape than she. While she was proud to be making positive changes, she couldn't help but let these sights make her feel lousy and regret that she hadn't changed her lifestyle sooner, allowing these thoughts to steal away her pride.

When you first begin trying new things, be it joining a new gym or trying a new workout regimen, it's easy to slip into comparing your physique and your abilities to those of others. Up until a few months ago, this was a very common occurrence for me, especially when I was seeing my results (the ones I envisioned myself as having) on others' bodies. I became envious of their chiseled backs and their ability to lift more than me and in turn, I became disgusted with myself, despite my vigorous efforts. The things I should've been proud of myself for achieving became things I was embarrassed of for not being better at in comparison to the person next to me. Eventually, the gym became an unhappy place for me to be and I didn't want people to even see me attempting to try. "What a joke they must think I am!" I would think to myself. The gym intimidated me and caused me to never step outside of my comfort zone, pushing me farther away from ever being able to achieve my goals.

Finally, one day it dawned on me through a simple quote I saw online, which was "Stop competing with others, start competing with yourself". I realized then that I had to apply this principle to every single aspect of my life if I ever want have any type of success. Sure, I feel it's fine to use others as my motivation and inspiration in some aspects, so long as I am not competing and comparing in an unhealthy way, but achieving my goals is not a competition between anyone else but myself- a competition to be better each and every day than I was yesterday- to lift more than yesterday, to run faster and farther than yesterday, to pray more frequently and harder than yesterday, to be a better friend, family member and coworker than I was yesterday. If not for that, then what am I doing with my life? What purpose am I serving?

Stop basing your self-worth and value on what the person next to you is achieving. Instead, start looking within yourself and being proud what YOU'RE achieving! From that will come success.

"Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct."  Galatians 6:4-5

Forgiveness

Forgiveness: It can be difficult, to say the least. Granted, it can feel much easier to forgive someone when they've admitted their wrong doings and have outright asked for your forgiveness. But what if they haven't? Or what if they have apologized to you but it wasn't the sincere apology you were hoping for, as though they said it just to get you off their back? What if the person asking you for forgiveness is yourself, but you’re too ashamed to free yourself of the guilt? Are we justified in continuing to hold onto grudges for any of these reasons?

We may never receive the apologies that we hope for or feel we deserve from others but that doesn't mean that we can't or shouldn't still forgive. Likewise, we can't continue to destroy our minds with anger and guilt over the things we've done to ourselves or to others. We have to find a way to forgive because no matter the crime, as Christians, we are all worthy of forgiveness. Why, you might ask? Think about it, Jesus Christ laid down His life for you and me so that we may be washed clean and forgiven of our sins by His amazing grace. As Christians, nothing, except refraining from forgiving others, can stop God from forgiving you, so why should anything else stop you?

“Though we are overwhelmed by our sins, you forgive them all.” Psalms 65:3

“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6: 14-15

I know what you might be thinking, "But you don't understand! I've done terrible, unspeakable things that have caused such harm. I could never let go of the guilt and shame I feel.” Or, "He caused me so much unspeakable physical and emotional pain that I swore I'd never forgive him for this! He doesn’t deserve my forgiveness." Maybe you were abused sexually, physically or emotionally, or maybe the abuse was self-inflicted with drugs or alcohol or even morbid obesity and mistreatment of your body; whatever the crime may be or whomever it may be against, forgive. For those who have caused harm to you, forgive them and leave the punishment and judgment up to your Heavenly Father to take care of for you.

Forgiveness, be it by God or by you, in no way means that the act of sin is okay and without consequence or punishment, nor does it mean that you have to stay in a bad situation where you are experiencing harm or turmoil, or that we should live life aimlessly and allow sin to control us, purposely taking advantage of God’s grace. No, forgiveness is the act of freeing yourself from the power of sin because we have been redeemed by Him who lives in us. We no longer have to be controlled by sin or shame because we are forgiven.

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.  And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.  The Law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature.  So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins.  He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit. Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit.  So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.” Romans 8: 1:6

“Brothers, listen! We are here to proclaim that through this man Jesus there is forgiveness for your sins.” Acts 13:38

Are we ever going to talk about this?

Lately, I've had a lot of things on my mind; things that I just can't seem to wrap my mind around or shake off. Instead of talking to God about these things and asking Him to help me, I've been stubbornly internalizing my struggles and talking with everyone else about them but God.

This morning as I was pondering over all of these troubles during my makeup regimen, God finally decided to ask me a question that I've been avoiding- "Are we ever going to talk about this?" Hearing His question come across very blatantly, it immediately dawned on me that I've been so selfishly focusing on worrying myself with these thoughts and problems, that I've put turning to Him in prayer on the backburner. It's so stupid of me to just completely shut myself off from His abilities to help me over these struggles, particularly when there are hundreds upon hundreds of scriptures that make it very clear the importance and power of prayer. One of these in particular being 1 Thessalonians 5:17, which says very concisely to, "Never stop praying."

 

Though I bookmarked this scripture in my Bible months ago, these three little words were like a slap in the face to me this morning after hearing God's question. Regardless of whatever I'm going through in life, despite the good, bad and the ugly, I need to pray. So, for the next hour and a half, I emotionally exhausted myself in conversation with Him. It felt great to finally just be able to speak freely to my savior about everything that's been bothering me over the last few days, weeks and months, even. I held nothing back in confessing my emotions and worries to Him, even admitting my anger and frustration over certain things. In turn, God helped me to realize many solutions, such as things that I need to either work on within myself, unresolved arguments that I need to let go of, and things that I just need to trust Him to handle. 

Unlike talking to a friend or confidant, when we talk to God through prayer, we don't have to worry about being judged for our thoughts, or worry about keeping ourselves poised in our emotions because He already knows all of our struggles, fears and concerns; all He asks is for us to speak to Him freely about whatever may be on our minds so that He can in turn, provide us with whatever we need, even if it's just a shoulder to lean on. I think often times, we put too much pressure on ourselves when it comes to praying whenever prayer is simply having a private and personal conversation with God. 

 

“When you pray, don’t babble on and on as people of other religions do.They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!" Matthew 2:6-7

In the book of Samuel, Hannah found anguish and heartache over the fact that she did not have a child of her own. After becoming so upset over being mistreated by her husband's other wife, who had two children with their husband, Hannah decided to do the only thing she could, which was pour her heart out to The Lord in prayer. She prayed so feverishly, that Eli (the priest of the Tabernacle), accused her of being drunk with wine, to which Hannah replied, “Oh no, sir! I haven’t been drinking wine or anything stronger. But I am very discouraged, and I was pouring out my heart to the Lord. Don’t think I am a wicked woman! For I have been praying out of great anguish and sorrow.” (1 Samuel 1:15-16) Eli instructed Hannah to continue praying, to which she did. Once she was finished, she no longer felt discouraged and was at peace! Low and behold, not only did God bless her with relief in prayer, but he also gave her what she asked for- a son, whom she named Samuel. 

God doesn't care where you are in your life, whether or not you've been to church that Sunday or how long it's been since you've confessed your sins to Him, he doesn't even care how you do it- be it in your home or on your commute to work- He just wants you to talk to Him about whatever it is you're going through or whatever you may need in your life. You are and will always be worthy of His time through prayer, regardless of your circumstances.

So, when are you going to talk about it with him? 

Choices

While I am a firm believer that God has a master plan and that many of the things we experience in life are part of that plan, I also believe that He has blessed us with the ability to choose not only how straight that path will be based on the choices we make, but to also choose whether or not to even follow. Though we'll never be able to fathom how great God's plans are or the steps He's already determined for us, we cannot live our lives aimlessly, without purpose, intent or effort and expect God to roll out the red carpet for us. We have to intentionally and deliberately choose to put forth the effort to not only follow His will by obeying Him but to also choose to put our trust in Him to direct us in the right direction.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all that you do and He will make your paths straight- Proverbs 3:5-6

The Bible teaches us in Galatians 6:5, that we are "each responsible for our own conduct". When we fall short of God's standards with the choices we make (which is bound to happen) we have to live with whatever the consequences and outcomes are. When we intentionally do things like ruining our health goals by constantly making poor nutritional choices on a daily basis, we cannot blame the negative results on anyone else but ourselves, nor can we sit and wallow in self-misery. We have to accept responsibility for our choices and trust God to help us figure out how to either live with the outcomes or make the changes that are necessary for us to get back on His path. The beauty is that each and every time we fall, we are saved by God's grace and are given the opportunity for second chances, all because Jesus Christ lived and died for us.

We believe that we are all saved the same way, by the undeserved grace of the Lord Jesus.

- Acts 15:11

Because we are saved by His grace, no failure, poor choice or struggle goes to waste. God is always going to find a way to use these things for our benefit and for His glory."We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9

Despite all of the things God does to redirect our paths, we still have to continue to put in the effort to do His will. In doing so, we will prevail on the path of least resistance. "So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up." Galatians 6:9

 

Every day the choices you make say what you are and who your heart beats for, it's an open door, it's your life.

- Francesca Battistelli

 

 



Let Your Weaknesses be Your Motivators and Accelerators

 

 I recently joined a boxing gym, which is very quickly becoming my new favorite work out! Unfortunately, being a newbie to something as intense as boxing has its ups and downs. The downside for me has been injuring my wrist just a few sessions in. The terrible thing is that the injury wasn't even from throwing punches but from doing burpees, an exercise that I am very familiar with but also have an infamous love/hate relationship with; actually, I'd say it teeters more on hate, especially now. Low and behold, I got a little ahead of myself one night at boxing and rushed into the burpees too quickly without placing my palms softly on the ground. And now, here I sit with an injured wrist.

 

While I don't think it's anything too serious, it still means that the physical activities I love to do (weight-lifting and boxing) have to take a back seat until I've recovered. Needless to say, it's been a really tough pill to swallow these past few days emotionally. All that I've been able to think about are my inabilities and I have become overly obsessed with the what-ifs... What if it's a more serious injury and I'm unable to do what I love for several more weeks? What if I gain weight or fall back on my progress instantaneously from not being able to lift weights or box? Even though these are ridiculous, unsubstantiated concerns, the worries continue on and on inside my head and my injury begins to make every body image issue of mine come back to life and take control of me, yet again.

 

Throughout the healing process, I've come to realize that I have to stop letting this injury become my excuse for having a poor attitude and an excuse for allowing my spiritual, nutritional and physical health plummet, which is what was beginning to happen. Just because I may be experiencing a weakness, doesn't mean that I get an automatic pass from continuing to strive towards achieving my goals. This is exactly what the devil wants of me in order to achieve his goals- He wants me to have a poor body image, an overall unhealthy lifestyle and to think of all of the negative outcomes over this injury. These thoughts ultimately allow him to take my attention away from God and the desires that He has for me when it comes to my relationship with Him and with my health. So, I've decided it's time for me to call in the bouncers and kick myself out of this pity party the devil is throwing for me and instead, it's time for me to RSVP to God's party. My ticket to entering this heavenly event is simply just being thankful.
 

"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 5:18

When you stop feeling sorry for yourself and start being thankful in all things, you can use your weaknesses as your motivators and accelerators in all areas of your life, be they incapable or capable areas, and God will make sure of that!

 

"Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights."  Habakkuk 3:17-19 

 

Though I may not have use of my wrist at the moment, it's not the end all be all towards achieving my overall goals. After all, I do still have two very capable legs, that which I am very thankful for. On Sunday, I used this as motivation to pick myself up off the couch and go for a run. What started out as a 1 mile run, turned into a 3.1 mile run! I never run but simply being thankful and using my weakness as a motivation in turn accelerated me into doing more than I thought I was physically capable of. Having an injured wrist is not an excuse to neglect my physical health whenever I am physically capable of achievement in so many other ways.

 

I am also thankful that even though my physical activity is limited, I am still in control of my nutritional health. So I am using this time to motivate myself to practicing what I preach, which is that nutritional health is overall more important that physical health. This will accelerate me into focusing more on the importance of healthy eating, regardless of exercise. Having an injured wrist is not an excuse to make unhealthy nutritional choices.

I am also thankful that I can use this time of healing to refocus my sights on God. Health and fitness may be two of my passions but nothing should stand in the way of my passion for Christ, which is what obsessing over my inability to exercise was beginning to do. Sometimes, it can be easy to let your nutritional and physical health have control over your thoughts, putting what's most important, such as your relationship with God, on the backburner. By using my weakness as a motivator towards refocusing my sights on Christ, I can accelerate myself into a deeper relationship with Him, which is the end all, be all. Having an injured wrist is not an excuse to neglect my relationship with Him, despite any of the circumstances.

"Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come." 1 Timothy 4:8

 

Regardless of my injury and inabilities, and these negative thoughts and worries that have taken control over me recently (and probably will continue to try to do so throughout my life) nothing can ever separate me from God's love for me or change the worth that He has for me. That is the greatest blessing of all! That alone is the greatest motivator and accelerator towards overcoming any of my weaknesses!

 

"Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?  (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.")  No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,  neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8: 35-39

Regardless of your weakness, let it be your motivator and accelerator, not your excuse.