Are we ever going to talk about this?

Lately, I've had a lot of things on my mind; things that I just can't seem to wrap my mind around or shake off. Instead of talking to God about these things and asking Him to help me, I've been stubbornly internalizing my struggles and talking with everyone else about them but God.

This morning as I was pondering over all of these troubles during my makeup regimen, God finally decided to ask me a question that I've been avoiding- "Are we ever going to talk about this?" Hearing His question come across very blatantly, it immediately dawned on me that I've been so selfishly focusing on worrying myself with these thoughts and problems, that I've put turning to Him in prayer on the backburner. It's so stupid of me to just completely shut myself off from His abilities to help me over these struggles, particularly when there are hundreds upon hundreds of scriptures that make it very clear the importance and power of prayer. One of these in particular being 1 Thessalonians 5:17, which says very concisely to, "Never stop praying."

 

Though I bookmarked this scripture in my Bible months ago, these three little words were like a slap in the face to me this morning after hearing God's question. Regardless of whatever I'm going through in life, despite the good, bad and the ugly, I need to pray. So, for the next hour and a half, I emotionally exhausted myself in conversation with Him. It felt great to finally just be able to speak freely to my savior about everything that's been bothering me over the last few days, weeks and months, even. I held nothing back in confessing my emotions and worries to Him, even admitting my anger and frustration over certain things. In turn, God helped me to realize many solutions, such as things that I need to either work on within myself, unresolved arguments that I need to let go of, and things that I just need to trust Him to handle. 

Unlike talking to a friend or confidant, when we talk to God through prayer, we don't have to worry about being judged for our thoughts, or worry about keeping ourselves poised in our emotions because He already knows all of our struggles, fears and concerns; all He asks is for us to speak to Him freely about whatever may be on our minds so that He can in turn, provide us with whatever we need, even if it's just a shoulder to lean on. I think often times, we put too much pressure on ourselves when it comes to praying whenever prayer is simply having a private and personal conversation with God. 

 

“When you pray, don’t babble on and on as people of other religions do.They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!" Matthew 2:6-7

In the book of Samuel, Hannah found anguish and heartache over the fact that she did not have a child of her own. After becoming so upset over being mistreated by her husband's other wife, who had two children with their husband, Hannah decided to do the only thing she could, which was pour her heart out to The Lord in prayer. She prayed so feverishly, that Eli (the priest of the Tabernacle), accused her of being drunk with wine, to which Hannah replied, “Oh no, sir! I haven’t been drinking wine or anything stronger. But I am very discouraged, and I was pouring out my heart to the Lord. Don’t think I am a wicked woman! For I have been praying out of great anguish and sorrow.” (1 Samuel 1:15-16) Eli instructed Hannah to continue praying, to which she did. Once she was finished, she no longer felt discouraged and was at peace! Low and behold, not only did God bless her with relief in prayer, but he also gave her what she asked for- a son, whom she named Samuel. 

God doesn't care where you are in your life, whether or not you've been to church that Sunday or how long it's been since you've confessed your sins to Him, he doesn't even care how you do it- be it in your home or on your commute to work- He just wants you to talk to Him about whatever it is you're going through or whatever you may need in your life. You are and will always be worthy of His time through prayer, regardless of your circumstances.

So, when are you going to talk about it with him? 

Choices

While I am a firm believer that God has a master plan and that many of the things we experience in life are part of that plan, I also believe that He has blessed us with the ability to choose not only how straight that path will be based on the choices we make, but to also choose whether or not to even follow. Though we'll never be able to fathom how great God's plans are or the steps He's already determined for us, we cannot live our lives aimlessly, without purpose, intent or effort and expect God to roll out the red carpet for us. We have to intentionally and deliberately choose to put forth the effort to not only follow His will by obeying Him but to also choose to put our trust in Him to direct us in the right direction.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all that you do and He will make your paths straight- Proverbs 3:5-6

The Bible teaches us in Galatians 6:5, that we are "each responsible for our own conduct". When we fall short of God's standards with the choices we make (which is bound to happen) we have to live with whatever the consequences and outcomes are. When we intentionally do things like ruining our health goals by constantly making poor nutritional choices on a daily basis, we cannot blame the negative results on anyone else but ourselves, nor can we sit and wallow in self-misery. We have to accept responsibility for our choices and trust God to help us figure out how to either live with the outcomes or make the changes that are necessary for us to get back on His path. The beauty is that each and every time we fall, we are saved by God's grace and are given the opportunity for second chances, all because Jesus Christ lived and died for us.

We believe that we are all saved the same way, by the undeserved grace of the Lord Jesus.

- Acts 15:11

Because we are saved by His grace, no failure, poor choice or struggle goes to waste. God is always going to find a way to use these things for our benefit and for His glory."We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9

Despite all of the things God does to redirect our paths, we still have to continue to put in the effort to do His will. In doing so, we will prevail on the path of least resistance. "So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up." Galatians 6:9

 

Every day the choices you make say what you are and who your heart beats for, it's an open door, it's your life.

- Francesca Battistelli

 

 



Let Your Weaknesses be Your Motivators and Accelerators

 

 I recently joined a boxing gym, which is very quickly becoming my new favorite work out! Unfortunately, being a newbie to something as intense as boxing has its ups and downs. The downside for me has been injuring my wrist just a few sessions in. The terrible thing is that the injury wasn't even from throwing punches but from doing burpees, an exercise that I am very familiar with but also have an infamous love/hate relationship with; actually, I'd say it teeters more on hate, especially now. Low and behold, I got a little ahead of myself one night at boxing and rushed into the burpees too quickly without placing my palms softly on the ground. And now, here I sit with an injured wrist.

 

While I don't think it's anything too serious, it still means that the physical activities I love to do (weight-lifting and boxing) have to take a back seat until I've recovered. Needless to say, it's been a really tough pill to swallow these past few days emotionally. All that I've been able to think about are my inabilities and I have become overly obsessed with the what-ifs... What if it's a more serious injury and I'm unable to do what I love for several more weeks? What if I gain weight or fall back on my progress instantaneously from not being able to lift weights or box? Even though these are ridiculous, unsubstantiated concerns, the worries continue on and on inside my head and my injury begins to make every body image issue of mine come back to life and take control of me, yet again.

 

Throughout the healing process, I've come to realize that I have to stop letting this injury become my excuse for having a poor attitude and an excuse for allowing my spiritual, nutritional and physical health plummet, which is what was beginning to happen. Just because I may be experiencing a weakness, doesn't mean that I get an automatic pass from continuing to strive towards achieving my goals. This is exactly what the devil wants of me in order to achieve his goals- He wants me to have a poor body image, an overall unhealthy lifestyle and to think of all of the negative outcomes over this injury. These thoughts ultimately allow him to take my attention away from God and the desires that He has for me when it comes to my relationship with Him and with my health. So, I've decided it's time for me to call in the bouncers and kick myself out of this pity party the devil is throwing for me and instead, it's time for me to RSVP to God's party. My ticket to entering this heavenly event is simply just being thankful.
 

"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."

1 Thessalonians 5:18

When you stop feeling sorry for yourself and start being thankful in all things, you can use your weaknesses as your motivators and accelerators in all areas of your life, be they incapable or capable areas, and God will make sure of that!

 

"Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights."  Habakkuk 3:17-19 

 

Though I may not have use of my wrist at the moment, it's not the end all be all towards achieving my overall goals. After all, I do still have two very capable legs, that which I am very thankful for. On Sunday, I used this as motivation to pick myself up off the couch and go for a run. What started out as a 1 mile run, turned into a 3.1 mile run! I never run but simply being thankful and using my weakness as a motivation in turn accelerated me into doing more than I thought I was physically capable of. Having an injured wrist is not an excuse to neglect my physical health whenever I am physically capable of achievement in so many other ways.

 

I am also thankful that even though my physical activity is limited, I am still in control of my nutritional health. So I am using this time to motivate myself to practicing what I preach, which is that nutritional health is overall more important that physical health. This will accelerate me into focusing more on the importance of healthy eating, regardless of exercise. Having an injured wrist is not an excuse to make unhealthy nutritional choices.

I am also thankful that I can use this time of healing to refocus my sights on God. Health and fitness may be two of my passions but nothing should stand in the way of my passion for Christ, which is what obsessing over my inability to exercise was beginning to do. Sometimes, it can be easy to let your nutritional and physical health have control over your thoughts, putting what's most important, such as your relationship with God, on the backburner. By using my weakness as a motivator towards refocusing my sights on Christ, I can accelerate myself into a deeper relationship with Him, which is the end all, be all. Having an injured wrist is not an excuse to neglect my relationship with Him, despite any of the circumstances.

"Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come." 1 Timothy 4:8

 

Regardless of my injury and inabilities, and these negative thoughts and worries that have taken control over me recently (and probably will continue to try to do so throughout my life) nothing can ever separate me from God's love for me or change the worth that He has for me. That is the greatest blessing of all! That alone is the greatest motivator and accelerator towards overcoming any of my weaknesses!

 

"Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?  (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.")  No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,  neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8: 35-39

Regardless of your weakness, let it be your motivator and accelerator, not your excuse.

 

 

 

Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

 

 

Do you ever have those types of fights with a loved one where you instantaneously react out of anger and say something you don't mean? Do you then find yourself self-loathing afterwards, beating yourself up emotionally and feeling guilty for the days to follow, even though they've forgiven you and moved on? This is a very common occurrence for me and I've decided to get down to the bottom of it by asking myself two very important questions: One, why do I continuously say things that I don't mean to a loved one and two, why do I beat myself up emotionally afterwards, unable to shed the guilt even if they've forgiven me?

 

I am going to be completely honest with you- A vast majority of the things I say that I don't mean are said when I'm under the influence of alcohol. It's very hard for me to control my emotions after a few drinks and any issue that I'm having has no problem bursting through. So, therein lies a huge part of the problem. Obviously your first piece of advice to me would be, "don't drink if you can't control your emotions", and you're partially right for many reasons. Alcohol can truly bring out our inner demons and I am no innocent party to that. I believe that the devil preys upon our weaknesses and when we drink, we become weak and subject to his tyranny. I have to learn to remain in control by shutting him out and if that means by not drinking, then so be it.

 

Regardless of whether or not there is alcohol involved, it's important to deal with my emotions or grievances with another person in a healthy manner. I often bottle up issues because I'm too afraid to speak openly, for fear of embarrassment over the topic or fear that I'll open up a can of worms to a world of other issues. I also shut myself off from talking about issues for fear of hurting the other person (what a catch 22!) Putting too much pressure on ourselves to keep these emotions on lock down does nothing beneficial for us and our relationships with others. Whether we indulge in the occasional adult beverage or not, one day we're bound to burst with rage, unable to control ourselves and our tongues, which results in us saying those mean and hateful things that we simply don't feel in our hearts.

So to answer my first question, I continuously say mean and hateful things that I don't mean because for whatever reason I am afraid to speak honestly about how I'm really feeling. I allow these frustrations and emotions to have control over me. In order to put this to a halt, I have to learn to address my issues with the other person in a healthier, more honest way. Truth be told, it could be just what my relationship needs to propel itself into the next level of love. God wants us to live at peace and unity with another, even if that means agreeing to disagree in order to make it happen.

 

"But I say, if you are even angry with someone,  you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot,  you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone,  you are in danger of the fires of hell. “So if you are presenting a sacrifice  at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God." Matthew 5:22-24

 

"Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God.  Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.  Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace." Ephesians 4:1-3

 

Furthermore and most importantly, I have to try to have control over my tongue and temper when I'm addressing these issues and I need to do this in whatever way I can, whether it's by praying beforehand, by writing my feelings down or by not talking about these issues when I've been drinking, even if that does seem like it might make it easier to talk about things at first.

 

"Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way... In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.  And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish,  but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. James 3:2, 5-8

 

Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper— it only leads to harm.
Psalms 37:8

"So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.  Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.  Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.  Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit," Ephesians 5:15-18

 

If I can implement these standards that God has for me, then I'm well on my way to saying what I mean and meaning what I say, while finding unity with my loved one. But in those times that I do slip up and allow rage to take control of my tongue, how can I forgive myself and let go of the guilt that I feel for hurting this person that I love so deeply? Am I even worthy of my own forgiveness and of God's forgiveness?

It's hard for me not to become angry and ashamed that I've allowed myself to fall short of the standards that God has for me. I am a perfectionist so sometimes it can be a struggle in itself to accept the fact that I am human and I will not ever be without fault. However, the great thing about God's grace is that I get to have a do-over every single time that I fail, regardless of how many times it happens. Of course this doesn't mean that I shouldn't strive to be better altogether for God's glory or for the sake of my loved ones, but God has given me the opportunity to pick myself up and try again with a clean slate, regardless if the person I've hurt forgives me. I have to find peace within myself by knowing that Christ paid the ultimate price in order for me to be given this kind of opportunity. I can't waste it by wallowing in my own shame. I have to realize that I am worthy of His forgiveness and His grace, despite my shortcomings. If a being as powerful as God can forgive me, then there's no reason why I can't forgive me for my faults either.

"When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God.  So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus." Romans 6:10-11

 

"We believe that we are all saved the same way, by the undeserved grace of the Lord Jesus.”

Acts 15:11

 

 

 

 



Flawlessly Shameless

I recently watched an episode of Modern Family where Mitch and Cam’s friend got calf implants. Yes, you heard right, calf implants. If you haven’t seen the episode yet, I highly suggest that you watch it because it was HILARIOUS (as always)! It made me realize that body image has become such a huge epidemic in today’s society that even our media outlets take part in poking fun at how overly concerned we’ve become with our appearances. It’s no surprise that having plastic surgery or finding less invasive ways to alter our appearances have become the norm. I’d be lying if I said that I won’t ever go down the path of plastic surgery. After all, I already dye my hair to alter my appearance and one day, it’ll be necessary if I want to keep the grays from making their inevitable debut; and if I’m being totally honest, I do have porcelain veneers as a result of tooth damage, so what’s to stop me from getting a little Botox or a more serious augmentation later down the line? I know for certain that my husband would have something to say to try to stop me but is there anything that I can say to myself to stop me?

Everyone struggles with body image issues, including men, whether we want to believe it about ourselves or not. I can almost guarantee that every one of us has or has had some kind of issue with a part of our body that simply can’t be changed by eating healthy and physical activity. I’m not talking about a broken nose, a chipped tooth or loose skin after major weight loss (I think those things warrant a correction); I’m talking about things like freckles, pointy noses, or the color of our eyes- the things that make us unique, the things that come standard on us. I for one am no less guilty of not feeling shame for one or more of my body parts despite knowing that my beauty and worth comes from within. I am human, after all.

It’s sad that in this world we live in we are made to feel ashamed of the things that make us unique as individuals; for me, one of those things used to be my freckles. (What a silly word, by the way!) No matter what I’ve done to try to prevent them, there was and still is no stopping the freckles that have spread throughout my entire body like wildfire. When I was younger, I remember being so paranoid that I would try to halt their existence by slathering on sunscreen in the hopes that it would do the trick, but nope, nothing could stop those bad boys from popping up. People used to tell me, “oh but your freckles are so cute!” whatever! Anyone that has freckles like I do knows what I’m talking about, or anyone with a part of their body they’re ashamed of for that matter. When you’re ashamed of a physical attribute of yours, no one else can change the way that you see that part of yourself but yourself.

It took me a while to realize that those people were right to try to help me see my freckles differently. You see, I may not see my freckles as “cute”, but they are something about me that make me unique, a stamp that God put on me so that He’ll know “That’s Amanda!” and that is nothing for me to be ashamed of. God didn’t plague me with having freckles so that I would be seen as not having flawless skin by the world; he blessed me so that I would be seen as flawless by Him! Instead of feeling ashamed, I’ve learned to be proud that God took the time to strategically plan out and place every single freckle with such diligent care. I was born to have these freckles because He said so. I stopped caring how the world sees my skin and focused on how God sees my skin and that’s what makes me beautiful. 

While freckles aren’t technically something that can be changed by plastic surgery (though I’m sure there are ways these days), there are other parts about myself that I don’t like that can be easily changed with surgery; like Mitch and Cam’s friend, I’m not a huge fan of my calves either. Now before you jump the gun in thinking that I should be able to alter them through exercise, nothing that I physically do is ever going to give me Britney Spears’ dream-like calves; trust me I’ve tried. (I know what you’re thinking- Britney Spears, really Amanda? But hey, I’m a product of the new millennium!) Anyway, my point being is that no matter how much muscle I build by doing calf raises or by running (just kidding, I don’t run), my calves will never look like Britney Spears’ because God built us to be different. Even if I had plastic surgery to enhance what exercise cant, they’re still not going to compare! My calves are what make me Amanda and Britney’s are what make her Britney. Should I be ashamed or envious of that even if I were to have surgery? No way!

I’m always so saddened when I watch plastic surgery shows about people who try to alter their entire bodies. I don’t think that often times these people are getting to the root of their problems. It’s not a specific body part that makes these people genuinely unhappy with themselves, it’s the shame that they feel for being less than perfect in the eyes of the world. Everything about you, the shape of your nose, the freckles on your skin, the colors of your eyes, the places that you and only you gain weight or build muscle are what make you, uniquely YOU! That is nothing to be ashamed of.

I don’t really know how I feel about plastic surgery, personally. I know that God wants us to be happy and live at peace with ourselves and with the choices that we make. Regardless of whatever those choices may be, He loves us unconditionally. So for me, I believe that plastic surgery is a personal choice and whatever you decide is right for you, is between yourself and God. If surgery, invasive or noninvasive, helps you in shedding your shame and living at peace with yourself, whether it’s right or wrong is not for anyone else to judge. Just know that regardless, you don’t have to be ashamed of the physical attributes that God gave you. He loves you just the same and only he can free you from the shame. He took the time to make you the way He wanted you, not the way the world wants you. God doesn’t publish anything he isn’t already proud of.

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way” Song of Solomon 4:7



The Worthy Girl's Guide

 

 

For those of you who know me personally, you're probably wondering why I decided to start my own website and blog about spiritual, nutritional and physical health and what makes me qualified to do so. Well, you and I both know that I am by no means professionally qualified nor am I perfect in any of these areas to say the least. Though I may not be qualified to write from a professional standpoint, I have hope that by speaking about my personal relationship with Christ and how He affects my health goals, you too can be inspired to find your worth through Christ's love and be motivated through Him towards living an overall healthier lifestyle.

When we seek God above all else, we can become all we were ever made to be and more, and that includes becoming the healthiest versions of ourselves as possible.

I have so many things that I can't wait to share with you but for now, I'll let my website do all of the initial introductions for today!

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." Proverbs 31:30

God Bless!

Amanda